Be our guest

One of the nice things about living in a city so many people want to visit is that we get the occasion to see friends fairly frequently.

Our Ann Arbor travel buddies Bob and Kathleen stayed with us for a night before doing Thanksgiving with his family.
John's old friend Tanya, who he first met in Chicago then palled around with in San Francisco, stayed with us for a few days recently when she was in town for business.
Barry was planning to see us for dinner when freelancing brought him to Long Island, but sadly, the weather conspired to keep him trapped on an airplane elsewhere and that fell through. This time.

And that's just in the last few weeks.

Tanya and my writer pal Lara have really got it going on as guests. John has described Tanya as the Martha Stewart of hippies, she being host to something like 60 people on Thanksgiving and organizing countless other soirees, and Lara's just a really generous chick.

With no guest room, consideration really makes the difference when we're putting up friends. And with the holidays coming, a time when lots of people bunk up with friends and family, I thought I'd share some pointers from the best of our guests:
-- Give plenty of warning, and don't skimp on the details -- Saying "I'll be there some weekend in December" doesn't help if your hosts are trying to plan other social events around you. Barry emailed repeatedly with possible dates, checking them with us before locking down flights, and even gave us options about what times he could get a train into the city for dinner. Of course weather undid all of that, but it still made it easier to try to work our plans to get to see him.
-- Try to contain your mess -- staying with someone doesn't give you license to take over their home, and keeping your personal effects in order helps to minimize the imposition. Lara would spread out while she got ready in the morning, then tuck everything neatly away.
-- Tidy up after yourself -- this might be less of an issue in places with a guest room, but even then, it's just nice to treat your host's place at least as good as your own home, but most likely, a little better. Tanya crashed on the couch for a few nights, and every morning, she'd fold up her bedding into a tidy little pile and stash it behind the dining room table.
-- Say thanks -- even among friends, it's nice to acknowledge the hospitality of welcoming someone into your home. If you're saving $200 a night at a hotel, spend a fraction of that on dinner and/or a gift to show your appreciation. Bob treated to Starbucks on Thanksgiving morning, Tanya took us out for a great French dinner then left us a little gift and a note, Lara treated us to a Thai dinner that was fun and tasty. Maybe we're square, but even among friends and family, thank you isn't optional.

Packing up to stay with someone at holiday time? Here are some other good pointers:
http://windowseat.travelocity.com/2007/10/_speak_up_house_guest_horror_stories.html
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/etiquette/houseguest-etiquette-apr05
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-House-Guest

Or if you're Karl and you're sort of looking forward to being a pain in the ass guest, you could use these lists for some inspiration for how not to act.