Living intentionally

Looks like John and I will spend one more year at 2 Lincoln, but not without a good amount of conversation about whether that's what we want -- do we want to stay here, find another apartment in Manhattan, move to another borough, retreat to the suburbs ... or something brand new?

The question of where we want to live becomes a proxy for many of the other big questions of life. How long do I see myself at AP? What does John expect from his career? What kind of lifestyle do we want?

So much feels up in the air right now. John had a temp gig he really liked at the MOMA and it looked like he was going to land a full-time position but that hasn't materialized yet. We're still sorting out a reorg at my office, and my new role isn't yet settled. Manhattan hasn't yet gotten the memo about real estate prices going down, but maybe there's hope that someday it won't cost $2 million for a two bedroom here?

Ultimately I think it comes down to a question of how we want to live, more so than where.

Having invested considerable time and money in my MBA makes it seem like I should continue to climb the corporate ladder. I'm already quite fortunate to have the position I do, and it looks like I might have a shot at what I might call a career accelerator position -- a new opportunity with a great title and excellent visibility in the company.

Lately, though, I've been thinking long term. What's the ultimate payoff? What am I giving up in return for the payback? There's a delicate balance there -- I don't like being bored and I enjoy the satisfaction of a challenge, but I also don't want the rest of my life to suffer under the strain of my job.

I spent the first several years after college frantically trying to climb the newspaper ladder -- from a small paper to a bigger paper, from reporter to editor, and before long, I got to a spot where I realized I didn't want to keep climbing. Though I made a change, my current position is still climbing from those newspaper beginnings. With the challenges facing traditional media, it's hard not to wonder when the time will come to make more of a clean break.

That's scary, though, since it probably means starting over -- beginner pay, beginner mistakes, competing in the job market with people who have way more experience. At what? I don't know. I've been fantasizing about teaching, typically at journalism departments or a media center like Poynter or API. Probably the bail out many of us in the media consider, and I bet the application stack is huge at all of them right now.

But what about something *really* different? Like what? It's hard to even imagine. John keeps talking about running a bed and breakfast in Key West, or selling veggie dogs from a cart in Venice Beach, something low key in a resort town.

In my perfect vision of our life together:
-- I will work at a job I enjoy, with people I like, doing tasks I feel are meaningful in some way
-- I will make good enough money not to have to worry about paying the bills
-- John will pursue creative endeavors, receiving both accolades and compensation for them
-- We will live someplace with rich culture, interesting people, and natural beauty
-- Our home will offer a great quality of life, including walkable community, green spaces, a reasonable pace of life and peace and quiet
-- Will will share our lives with friends who we love like family
-- Our lives will be in balance. We will work enough to feel valued and connected to our community, but still have time and energy for each other and for our friends.